New York

Today I returned from spending eight days in New York. My friend Dave, who lives in Tennesee but grew up in Long Island, is unemployed and did not know when he'd be able vacation or see his family again once getting a new job. He decided, then, to drive the twelve hours to New York and asked if I'd like to come along. I had never been there before, and to me it's somewhere everyone would want to see, so I joined him for the trip. Dave, for his part, was told by his wife Jen that he was to "find a career and figure out his life." He said that he has yet to do so in thirty-one years, but one week in New York should be the answer. And so off we went.

THE FIRST WEEK: We stayed where Dave grew up, in Quogue, Long Island. Ooma (what everyone calls her), his grandmother, housed us on two twin beds. Across the street live his brother, Scott, and his brother's wife, Denise. Just down the street are Dave's parents, Randy and Diane.

Dave showed me all the sights of the area, including the places he and his friends hung out growing up. That included going to the Atlantic Ocean, where I took off my sandals and stepped into the cold waters. We also saw the Hamptons, which have numerous million dollar plus homes. If I had enough money, that would be a nice place to live. I also saw some of the homes Dave managed when he owned his own landscaping business before moving to Alabama, where he mowed, planted trees and flowers, made ponds, and the like.

We spent time with most of the friends Dave had growing up. We saw Chris and his mother Mary and fellow landscaper Dave. While at the Atlantic Ocean, we chatted with Moose (I don't know his real name), who works there letting people into the parking area for the beach. Moose accompanied us one night to see married couples Courtney and James, and Bob and Stephanie. We went to lunch with the latter another day, who paid for the meal, afterwards taking a walk in a local park and then going back to their house, where Stephanie cooked us a delicious dinner of chicken cutlets, pasta, and salad. To repay them for the two meals, Dave and I transplanted about seven small trees in their yard and edged the grass in the front.

I learned that being a fisherman is not for me. One morning we took Scott's boat, along with Dave's dad, and went shark fishing out in the Atlantic Ocean. I was feeling my stomach turning a little as we motored out, then when we stopped to begin fishing, the six feet or so swells took control and I was helplessly vomiting off the side. Dave has always gotten motion sick easily - even sitting on a swing with his feet off the ground makes him queasy - and so he joined me in contributing chum to our expedition. We were out there for only about ten minutes, before we went back to the inlet to fish for regular fish. There the waters are mostly calm. Unfortunately, we didn't catch any fish; however, I did accidentally reel in a crab once, which we threw back.

THE FOOD I ATE: Dave made sure he went to the restaurants he loves. We went to Popei's for seafood, where I got a scallops and shrimp pasta with broccoli; to Slo Jack's for a shrimp burrito; to The Triangle Pub for a cajun burger; to Ken's for sushi; to The Sandwich Club for a buffalo chesterbrester chicken sandwich; to the local deli for a breakfast special, two eggs over easy with sausage, cheese, pepper, and ketchup, all on a hard roll; and to Tonino's for an authentic cheese New York pizza. All of this food was wonderfully tasty. We also had spaghetti at Dave's parents one night and crawfish at Scott's another. In New York City, we had an incredible authentic Korean meal.

NEW YORK CITY: On the drive in, I saw Shea Stadium from a distance. We parked at Rescue 1, just a few blocks from Times Square, thanks to Dave's brother Scott being a NYC fireman. Lots of the sights in the city were accessible by walking.

Times Square is fun to see for all its lights, signs, and screens. In addition, we saw Rockefeller Center, The New York Public Library, Carnegie Hall, Radio City Music Hall, The Ed Sullivan Theater, the Empire State Building, Chinatown, Ground Zero, Battery Park, the Statue of Liberty, FAO Schwarz, and Central Park.

We tried to find cheap tickets to a Broadway show. It was impossible though. We went to where "Hairspray" was playing, but tickets were $75; at "Jersey Boys," tickets were $300. One lady told us she is buying tickets for the latter for February, and only about eight or so remain. That's how popular these Broadway shows are!

It was fun to participate in the crazy NYC driving. As Dave said, the most common color of cars is yellow, with there being so many cabbies. Drivers cut others off continously, swerve into other lanes without using a blinker, and basically do anything and everything if they can get away with it. Honking creates a perpetual hum all over. Eventually, however, I got used to it and stopped hearing all the honking. I even was honked at myself by a cabbie, and got to honk at someone else when we left the city. I am quite happy that I got to honk at someone in New York City!

I got to ride the subway. I think that has to be a part of any experience in NYC.

Ooma has two turtles from Chinatown, and somehow at some point I said it'd be neat to have turtles myself, so Dave's Uncle Jerry got me two from Chinatown. I wasn't quite expecting that! One thing led to another, and now I have a ten gallon aquarium with rocks from the rock walls Dave is building, a ramp made of wood we found in Dave's backyard in Tennesee, and fish which I'll buy later. I'm going to try to set all this up tomorrow. The turtles are climbing buggers. They about haven't stopped moving since I got them. We named them Dent (he has a dent in his shell) and Orbit (after the gum I bought on the trip).

I had a fun time on my trip. I am glad that I can now say I've been to New York. Seeing all of the sights of the city is something I'll always remember!

Grand Jury Duty

The summons came in the mail to report for jury duty October 22. I call Nick and ask, “What shall I do?”

He says, “You fulfill your civic duty, Fred. Don’t try and postpone or try to get out of it. Do your civic duty. Get it over with.”

I says, “Yes, boss.”

So I show up at the Shelby County Courthouse in Columbiana. Out of 100 people reporting, the computer (they say) picks me as one of 18 who are assigned grand jury duty. So we 18 are in this room going thru cases where we vote “True Bill,” “Continuance,” or “No Bill.” Indict, not indict, or continue the case for further information.

Before we commence our deliberations, I ask the Assistant DA (Mr. Bill Bostic), who is conducting our meeting, if it’s true that a good DA can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. He laughs, knowing the joke. The others in the room seem not to know the joke. It doesn’t take long for me to become the grand jury’s clown.

The first day we go thru garden variety crimes---theft, armed robbery, shop lifting. No murders this week (thank goodness)! And no ham sandwich!

The morning of the second day we report to the Shelby County Jail in Columbiana. One of the duties of grand juries in Alabama is to inspect the county jail and certify that it is in proper working order. The state constitution specifies that county sheriffs must maintain a county jail. Built two years ago, this is a state-of-the-art facility. (It must be state-of-the-art. The facility holds 400 inmates. Today’s population is 312 and there are 9 guards on duty. Nine guarding 312: it HAS to be technologically state-of-the-art or some guards might be in trouble). They tell us it is one of the finest county jails in the country: people come from all parts, including California, to see this fabulous jail that houses our county’s most dangerous felons. There are no longer any city jails in Shelby County. City prisoners are sent to the county lockup. The cities pay the county for the privilege.

Cameras are everywhere. Walls are thick. Locked doors are everywhere. You couldn’t bust out of this place with a tank. You do not appreciate the horrors of confinement until you visit a prison. I cannot imagine being in prison. This would be a horror beyond compreshension.

If I get arrested and sent to lock-up, I hope it’s in Shelby County, Alabama, ALTHOUGH make no mistake about it, this is a prison and it is a sad and dreary place: no place you’d ever want to be for any reason, though the food is good for a prison and I DO look good in orange.

We tour the facility, see how clean and modern it is, how the latest technology is used.

In the women’s cell block, an inmate gets my attention through the glass.

“Take me home with you” she mouths to me me.

“Sorry, I can’t” I mouth back to her. She laughs. I laugh. Even though I can’t hear her, I suspect my laugh is more genuine than hers.

We go through the medical unit. Inmates are sitting in cells with faraway, vacant looks. How horrible to be sick and in jail.

We see the segregation unit (formerly called solitary). We look in but they don’t let us walk by the cells. No, I wouldn’t want to be in there unless I really craved lonliness.

We are told that the jail is kept deliberately cold (59 to 62 degrees year round). We see inmates with blankets (which are specially designed so that they can’t be twisted for suicide purposes) wrapped around them. The reason is that rowdy behavior goes with being hot. If you are cold, you less likely to misbehave.

The second day afternoon is devoted to drug cases entirely.

We are told that the biggest growing drug problem in Shelby County is with the abuse of prescription drugs. The biggest one is Loritab, a pain-killer. I had never heard of it. I am ignorant if you get much beyond Tylenol. Prescription drug use is more respectable than crack cocaine; the former is mostly upper socioeconomic class and the latter is lower socioeconomic class.

We are told how crack cocaine is made. Don’t ask me how; just know that this is nasty, nasty stuff. One time, and you can become addicted. Crack cocaine is mainly for the “lower classes.” ALL cocaine comes from Columbia. It comes up from South Florida to Atlanta and hence over to the Birmingham area or else up to Jacksonville, across I-10 to Mobile, and north from there.

We are told how drug use is spreading from the high schools down to the middle schools. Alcohol, cannabis, & prescription drugs are the main culprits.

Methamphetamine is on the decrease in Shelby County. The police seldom find a meth lab these days. It’s “lower class” stuff like crack. We’re too properous in Shelby County to do that stuff. Give us our presciption pills!

Yes, cannabis and alcohol are everywhere: the main drugs of choice for our young people.

We are informed that 80%---EIGHTY PER CENT---of the crimes committed in Shelby County are drug related in some way. No drugs, no significant crime problem!

The second day we meet the DA for the first time, Mr. Robbie Owens. He seems like a good man. He says that he doesn’t know how to reduce crime. He’s tried everything. Locking them up and throwing away the key doesn’t work either. You can’t keep every malefactor in jail for life, and as soon as they get out, most of them end up back in jail.

The third day we are told about the past Shelby County sheriff who was investigated for shoplifting Moon pies from local convenience stores (I am not making this up). Sometimes grand juries make considerations in secret. Needless to say, the sheriff was not indicted, but he did resign. Had he also be lifting RCs, it would have been a felony (I think it should have been) and therefore a different story.

On the third day we are treated by the DA’s office to lunch at Bernie’s on Main Street in downtown Columbiana. It’s the swanky place in Columbiana, the one good restaurant in our county seat..

The worst thing for a grand jury is to hear sexual abuse cases. Fortunately we hear only one. This is where you would like to find the alleged perp and shoot him yourself. Innocent until proven guilty, but when you hear overwhelming evidence, you get incensed.

We have only one rape case: he said, she said. The alleged victim testifies in person and we have adult conversation. I vote “No Bill” but the majority vote for a reduced indictment of “Sexual Misconduct.” I will spare you the indelicate details.

On the fourth and final day we have a dicussion with the DA himself, Mr. Robby Owens, about the status of the death penalty in the United States. It’s a fascinating subject, one that I enjoying discussing.

Out of 140 cases we heard, this grand jury returned “True Billl” (indictment) on 111. This is a normal percentage.

I have performed my civic duty.

If you ever serve on a grand jury, you are in for an unforgetable experience. You will learn about the crime going on in your area. You will learn about the classes of felonies. You will get an inside look at the criminal justice system (better than “Law and Order”!) You will see the politics involved in criminal justice. You may see your local prison, which will leave indelible impressions in your mind.

MOYNA'S SOAPBOX (2)

Today is Fred & my 27th wedding anniversary...HOLY COW!!! Who would have THOUGHT/BELIEVED we would have stayed together for so long?! We have been together almost half of our lives. We're in that "comfortable with each other" mode - not as many "sparks" as when we were younger, but still happy to be with each other! We have become each other after so many years together - we complete each other's sentences (me more than him). In the beginning, Fred was quiet & would make me so mad because he didn't talk very much to other people. I was the talker and made friends. Now, over the years, Fred talks (and says whatever comes out of his mouth...) to EVERYONE - and pretty much knows their life history in just a few minutes. I have become the quiet one - sometimes wishing Fred would keep his mouth shut and NOT talk so much!! We have our routine, which we consider makes us just an old, boring couple, but we're happy. We consider our son, Freddy, to be our greatest accomplishment. He has turned out to be a great person who never gave us a bit of trouble growing up.

We had planned on having a nice dinner tonight to celebrate our anniversary, but we must remember this is FOOTBALL Saturday!! A nice dinner celebration will have to wait until tomorrow...maybe. Fred woke up this morning feeling ucky and coughing.
Most of our day will be spent watching the various college football games & catching a catnap here & there - are we getting old, or what?!

I actually have a hard time remembering our anniversary. Fred's birthday was on the 11th, and Freddy's birthday is on the 18th. I always work on what to get them for their birthdays and end up forgetting about our anniversary. Fred will usually say something to me to jog my memory. We have reached an age, though, where we don't need/want much, so just a nice dinner makes us happy. I like to go to Ruth's Chris, but I don't think we will go this year. We are still thinking about where to have our anniversary dinner.

27 YEARS!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?! LOVE YOU HUBBINS!!!

Now, onto other topics. The weather here has finally cooled down, especially at night. I've actually had to cover up with a quilt at night. I love the cool weather - I sleep so much better. 70 degrees in the South is a perfect temperature; I wish it would stay there all year... Even our cats love the cooler weather; they become more frisky, especially in the mornings!

Our niece in San Diego, Jaime, is getting married the last Saturday in January - IN HAWAII!!! As a Christmas gift, Fred & I decided to send Freddy to represent our family. Needless to say, he is more than happy to go!! He loves to travel. I don't have to hope he will have a great time, I know he will.

That's about it for this soapbox...

At 58

As a man turns 58 today, what is he supposed to think?

Certainly that he is now pushing 60!

That he hopes to stay healthy, able to work, & able to take care of his daily and family responsibilities.

That he is a lucky man. Great wife. Great son. Virtually no regrets in his life. Realizing that he has had the opportunity in his life to do just about anything he might have wanted to do.

Whatever goals and ambitions he might have had in his life, he had the chance to achieve them all. That he has controlled his own destiny, made of himself what he has of his own accord.

What more could a 58-yr. man realistically want?

I Made This. Thought It'd Be Fun.

Freddy's Rant (1)

Today I browsed the movies playing in the local cinemas I go to here in Atlanta. Nothing interests me. I'm not surprised, though. As an avid movie watcher, I have become increasingly disenchanted with theaters and the audiences that populate them. At least six movies have been released recently that I want to see, and none of them are playing in my local cinemas. I also checked every theater in the Atlanta area that I could; only about five are playing just one of the six. None are playing more than one. Of those five, just two of the six are playing. In my opinion, there are no excuses for this gross negligence.

It seems that any movie that's artsy, important, unconventional, or that has a message gets too little attention. Anything that makes you think seems to be avoided. Instead, theaters show films for weeks or months at a time; Transformers is still playing in one local theater here. Most films shown are formulaic and mere trash. It's sad that the best we can get is Eastern Promises, Feast of Love, The Game Plan, and Good Luck Chuck, which have as much value as a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Generally, every movie available for consumption in our theaters is basically the same as every other movie made. These movies have their audiences, and rightly so, but it's unfortunate that others, often those with significance, are sacrificed.

Sometimes I think I'm snobbish with films, but it angers me that almost nothing I want to see is ever in the cinemas. And I think it's wrong that a film like SiCKO, a commentary on healthcare, is so obscure in its release and earns just over $24 million, while the Spiderman, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings series (and others like them) earn tens of millions more. I imagine there are larger audiences for these movies and I guess they do earn more money, so I'm angry too that American movie-goers don't have a more eclectic taste in film. And let's not forget that seeing a foreign film is nearly impossible. It seems that if a movie doesn't fit into the formula Americans expect, or doesn't star someone famous, or doesn't have a simple story, then people don't care. They think it's boring, it's not entertaining, it's difficult to understand, or some other rubbish. If you want to see how dumb this country is, look no farther than what's playing in your local theater.

Thank goodness for rental. It's at the point where when I find a movie I want to see, I put it on my Netflix queue and not even try seeing it in the cinema.

BayFest

Yesterday I went to Mobile for BayFest. I saw my college roommate, Edwin, and his wife Courtney, along with Courtney's sister. Edwin and I talked about the fun times we had together at Auburn. We talked too about our fantasy NASCAR league and what we've been up to lately. He is still much the same as he was when we lived together. It is hard to believe, however, that he has been married now for over two years, but both are doing wonderful.

That night I stayed at their house. It is pretty new, only a few years old I'd guess, is spacious, and is quite beautiful. They recently finished painting the dining room, their bedroom, and their bathroom, in three different colors. They have a 60 inch television, which I got to use this morning as the three of us competed in a bowling game Edwin has for his Wii.

BayFest was a treat for me. We got there early and saw some of the Blues Traveler performance. After that, we saw The Wallflowers, which is maybe my favorite band. I have been listening to them for years. This was my first concert of theirs, however, so I was quite excited to see them. I wasn't at all disappointed.

We got close to the stage, about 20-25 feet away from Jakob Dylan. I knew all the songs, and it was great finally to hear them performed live. They closed with their biggest hit, "One Headlight," and encored with "The Difference." Other songs included:

• 6th Avenue Heartache
• Three Marlenas
• Letters From the Wasteland
• Sleepwalker
• How Good It Can Get
• If You Never Got Sick
• The Beautiful Side of Somewhere
• Here He Comes (Confessions of a Drunken Marionette)
• Back to California

What a nice weekend it was!

On Meeting Alan Alda

Alan Alda was in town yesterday to autograph his new book. I can't say that I am an Alan Alda fan or a fanatic about the TV show "MASH." I debated whether to go and get an autographed copy. I did go, and I'm glad I did.

I'm glad first of all because I learned that Alan Alda is a really nice guy. There is no pretense about him. He's just genuinely decent human being. I enjoyed my 30 seconds with him getting the autographs.

He complimented me on my "Hawaiian" shirt and said he had several and wore them all the time. He made sure he spelled "M-o-y-n-a" correctly. You could tell by how he interacted with the people that he was enjoying himself and that he really likes people.

I'm glad second of all because I've skimmed thru his books (this new one is his second) and he's a good writer! The books are stories about his life and his points of view on various things, and I look forward to reading them. Had I not gone to the signing, I never would have considered reading these books.

So that's the story of my meeting Alan Alda.

Evidence that I might be suffering from some sort of neurotic disorder, in which case an intervention by my friends may be necessary.

1) Whenever I eat Chinese food, I spend the entire meal comtemplating what my fortune cookie says. I always hope for long life, riches, or celebrity, but always get some vague rubbish like, "You will find what you search for is already in your hand."

2) All the food in my cabinets and refrigerator is positioned in straight lines with the labels facing outward. It takes longer to create this order than it does to buy the actual groceries.

3) I dream about the girl whose voice provides the message on my answering machine. She's tall, with plum colored hair, glasses, and a British accent.

4) The sixth grade spelling competition in which I finished second still haunts me. How could I misspell "hypothesis"?

5) Whenever I pay for something with exact change, I worry that the cashier will judge me persnickety. At these times, I usually stare silenty at the floor without looking at the person's face.

6) While watching television, I imagine that I'm a character in the show. By the way, I once hinted to Kristin Shepard that she shoot J.R. (I didn't think she'd go through with it), I'm best friends with Norm after I helped him with his bar tab, and the FBI agents on Without a Trace have yet to find me.

7) I like making weird faces at people when stopped at a red light. I especially like doing this towards small children, because I think it scares them. Indeed, one actually cried once.

8) I hide money under the cushions and in cereal boxes so I can surprise myself with money I didn't know I had.

9) Seeing the police incites fear that I'll be arrested, even when I haven't committed a crime.

10) I can't stop thinking about new ways to arrange my furniture. Several hours a day are devoted to thinking about this, yet I haven't rearranged my furniture in a few years.

11) I once began putting a skylight in my apartment, but then realized my neighbors above might not appreciate it.

12) I think if you're flying from Los Angeles to Tokyo, it'd be easier to take off and fly straight up in the air and hover above until the earth rotates so that Tokyo is below you. Then you can land.

How to Identify and therefore Avoid Boring People

NOTHING annoys me more than boring people. I can deal with obnoxious people. I can deal with ignorant people. I can deal with arrogant people. I can even deal with stupid people. What I can’t stand is boring people. Herewith is my guide to identifying BORING PEOPLE. The point is: you need to AVOID these people rather than deal with them. Life is too short to waste time dealing with boring people. The trick is to identify them, and once identified, AVOID THEM.

1) People who enjoy talking about the weather are boring people. Tornados and hurricanes ---inclement weather--- is worth talking about; the everyday weather that is the backdrop of 99% of our lives is not worth talking about. As a topic of conversation, normal weather is worth no more than 8 seconds of comment.

2) People who read the airline magazine when they are flying are boring people. If this is all you have to read while flying, you are not worth my time.

3) People who thrive on popular culture are boring people. The minute you start talking about Anna Nicole Simpson (or is it Anna Nicole Smith?) I know you are a boring person.

4) People who can get into heated arguments over which bathroom tissue is best are boring people. We use Charmin in our house, but I do not wish to discuss it.

5) People who talk about “ the good old days” are boring people. But’s it’s OK for ME to talk about MY good old days. But if YOU talk about YOUR good old days, I peg you as a boring person.

6) People who show home movies or pictures or slides from their vacation are boring people. You’ll never catch me doing such a nefarious thing. (But I DO have some great footage of our vacation last summer in California which I’ll be glad to show you.)

7) Here are some limits to not being a boring person.
You are not allowed to talk about your normal aches and pains until you are at least 65.
There is an 5 minutes time limit on talking about your problems at work.
There is a 4 minute time limit on talking about your kids.
There is a 3 minute time limit on talking about what you would do if you were suddenly rich.

8) In general, if you wish to talk about a subject about which I am not interested, you are a boring person. If you do not care to talk about a subject about which I am interested, you are a boring person.

9) Gossip is OK if done in moderation. But if all you do is gossip, then I will put you on probation. Unless, of course, it’s good gossip that I’m interested in; then I’ll keep you on my list of unboring persons.

10) People who talk about themselves continuously are boring people. They can only talk about themsevles and their whatevers. Such people get in the way of my talking about what’s on MY mind.

11) People with whom there is NOTHING to talk intelligently about are boring people. The weather, what’s on TV tonight, and who has the best hamburger in town doesn’t cut it.

12) People who can talk nonstop without saying ANYTHING are boring people. I’m to the point where I say, “I’m sorry, but it is obvious that you have nothing worthwhile to say. Pardon me, I have to go floss my teeth.”

October

This is my favorite month of the year.

My birthday is the 11th.

Freddy's is the 18th.

Our nephew Eric O'Riley is the 26th.

Moyna's grandmother's is the 19th.

Our friend Josie in California is Halloween!

My mother would have been 95 on the 22nd.

My maternal grandfather would have been 127 on the 20th! I sure wish I had known him better. Unfortunately he died in 1963 when I was 13. He was the only grandparent I ever knew, and I did not know him at all really. It would be so much fun to talk to him today.