Things That Annoy Me but Probably Shouldn't

---When someone has something stuck between their two front teeth and I don’t say anything out of meanness because I can keep looking and laugh to myself. My meanness annoys me.

---When the most thrilling part of my day is speeding up to get thru a yellow light, looking back and seeing that the police didn’t see me. What a dull life I lead.

---When a checkout line opens up next to mine and there’s a stampede to it and I’m left in the same slow line.

---When someone pays me a back-handed compliment - like recently when someone said to me, “Looks like you’re the only one in your family who’s managed to stay married.”

---That I have no friends left who like or even remember Joan Baez. I was having lunch with a customer recently and Joan’s song “Diamonds and Rust” came on in the restaurant (the most haunting song in the English language) and I started weeping uncontrollably. I was irritated that I was embarrassed and that the young professor had never even heard of Joan Baez.

---Sitting at the restaurant dinner table, wondering if the appetizers are being shared equally by everyone.

---When I eat General Tso’s chicken knowing full-well that he was a ruthless, blood-thirsty killer of thousands and I eat it anyway.

---Having to preface much of what I say these days with, “I can’t remember if I’ve told you this or not, but. . . “

---Trying to deduce someone’s real feelings in an email when they don’t leave a smiley or frowny.

---When I’m paying at the cash register and they ask for my zip code. I usually say “Six,” and just stand there.

---People who think karaoke is their chance at 15 minutes of fame.

---When a friend says “I’ve got good news” and it’s all about them.

---Finding last summer’s “To Do” list and seeing that most of it remains undone.

---Not being able to throw out an old magazine because it has an article that you want to read but you know you’ll never get around to reading it.
--When someone keeps sniffling but doesn’t blow his nose.