Expectations

I am in Pelham this week, for the school always has a week off in February.

Nothing has changed here. It's the same, as it has been for over ten years. Anytime I come home, or just call home, I think I subconsciously or subtly expect something to be different, but nothing ever is. When I call, for example, I ask dad what's happening, what's going on, as if there's gotta be something. But all I get is, "Nothing. Moyna and I are watching Wheel of Fortune." When I come home, we relax, run errands, watch television, do this and that. It's the same, just with an additional person.

Not the same for our previous abode though. I sometimes drive by it, usually when I'm going to Krispy Kreme. Each time it looks different than what I remember. It's as if it's changed since when we lived there, which is how I remember it. The buildings seem closer together, and the yards seem smaller. Everything has seemingly contracted or somehow been sucked inward. The people are gone too. I remember some of the neighbors, none of whom still live in "their" apartments. The road you drive down to get there even seems much shorter. When we'd leave growing up, it seemed to take three times longer to the main road than it does now.

Though I know this is reality, or at least the way I know I'll perceive things, I still expect the condominiums to be like they were growing up, which is how I remember the place. It's funny my expectations don't change or diminish to fit the reality I know to be true. That home always changes when I visit, but not so here in Pelham. I wonder why that is.